Mystical Rhapsodies

Lost

2011-06-21T22:51:00.000+05:30

With searching eyes
I kept running
Panting
Looking
I have lost it...again.

It was just there
A while back
Compact.
I was about to grasp it
When it disappeared.

The shadow remains
Vaguely...

Really real

2011-06-19T22:43:00.000+05:30

I stood there
With my ears blocked
While the world went on yapping.
Lips moving, mouths shouting
Fingers raised in rage,
While the feet went on thumping.

I just floated by, blissfully.
Is this world really real?
Or am I lost in the realm of truth
That cannot be captured?
But can only be experienced
Far away from reality!

Scattered

2011-06-03T02:07:00.000+05:30

i picked up my pieces
and attempted to move on
just to realize that
they were too scattered
to ever unify again
and be the me that was...

The search

2011-06-02T22:17:00.002+05:30

Amidst the chaos of life -

With all its laughter

Sorrow, stupidity, happiness

Concerns, pain, vanity

Fragility, mockery, charade

Truth and reality -

I look for you.

Finally I have found you

Only when I draped myself

With a shroud of silence.

I am Catherine

2011-05-21T23:36:00.001+05:30

I knew

You, and you knew me

Unconditionally, naturally...

When we were just merged into each other,

Seamlessly...

Entwined passionately in spirit.

I chose

‘tween myself and the world.

Stabbing my own heart!

You did not intervene,

Even once...

And killed me, my spirit.

I live

And continue to live

Not by that strand of hair

That you stole.

But by the memories, the spirit

That haunt you...

How can I die, when you keep living on?

Inspired by http://mysticmargarita.blogspot.com/

Again

2011-05-16T00:04:00.000+05:30

Today, after almost a decade

You suddenly appeared from nowhere

Trying to say something…

Explaining… again.

I thought we had moved on.

From decade old explanations,

Excuses and accusations.

Isn’t it wise

To let those explanations just be

Lost in the weight of the unfathomable?

Isn’t it nice

To just carry on

And pretend that we had never met?

Isn’t it right

To tread on different paths

And assume that it was never meant to be?

The Track

2011-05-15T23:33:00.000+05:30

I had resigned

To the barren land.

For a long while now.

Since the pursuit seemed fruitless

And exhausting.

Unless she crept in

From an unknown corner

While I was lost in daily chaos.

Was it a surprise?

A pleasant one?

Somewhere deep inside

I knew, she was there.

What took her so long?

Was she sleeping?

Or was I unaware?

Futile thoughts, I must say.

Now that I’ve got the whiff

I don’t want to lose myself

In the barren land again!

Groove

2010-09-03T00:38:00.003+05:30

The old wolf looked affectionately at me,

“So you’ve chosen to come back?”

Yes, I nodded, trying to look eager

To run with the pack.

“Why?” He asked, “Is it not fun

To walk on two?”

It is, but maybe, I still belong

To the wolves.

“Well,” he said, “I introduce you

To N-wolf, he now leads the pack here;

I just look into the big things."

N-wolf sat in his cosy den,

Flashing his busy tail

Inspecting the prey

With busy claws.

“Can I offer you some?” He smirked.

No, I possibly made the point too strongly.

“Do you remember how to run with the pack?”

Sure, I do.

“But you are behaving like humans; head high

On two, evading reality?”

I kept quiet, not wanting to sound defensive.

“We are a small pack, we need to hunt more

To feed ourselves and to conquer others.”

Is it necessary to hunt without reason?

“It is necessary to hunt so that others fear

How else will we lead?”

I looked on as he dug his claws

Onto the dead rabbit

And licked with glory.

The flap to his den opened

And his trainee entered

With yet another dead rabbit.

He looked proudly at me,

“This is how I train my juniors.”

He took the fresh corpse

And handed over the licked one.

The trainee looked at it,

And managed to disguise

His flash of disgust.

I looked at him confused,

The old wolf was different.

“You’ve learnt to walk on two,

Maybe you cannot run

With the wolves again.”

This time around,

I did not feel the need to justify...

The unyielding spirit...

2010-08-31T19:38:00.010+05:30

Life is a mirror, I'm told, of your own very self. Feels very flattering to know that I often meet representatives of the resolute spirit of mankind where ever I go.

My brother, who is much younger, and behaves like my grandpa affirmed the same, when he dragged me amidst the incessant rainfall to catch a morning show of 'Antardwand'...

Directed by Sushil Rajpal, 'Antardwand' highlights the oft heard but unexplored(in Indian cinema) practice of groom kidnapping in Bihar, where the groom is abducted, forced into marriage and kept under house arrest unless/until he succumbs to his "wife" and his new life. Simple narrative, realistic depictions, human and believable characters and competent performances made the experience wonderful. And, the dauntless spirit of Janki, beautifully portrayed by Swati Sen makes the experience even more enjoyable.

Vikramaditya Motwane's 'Udaan' explores the unbeatable spirit of a adolescent refreshingly portrayed by Rajat Barmecha . Much has been written about this movie... and I even was privy to the self congratulatory cast and crew praising each other on the last screening at a theatre... what touched me most was the portraiture of friendship - closeness to friends one grows up with - most of the time they seem to understand you more than your parents and relatives. And though you may be miles away from them, just a call is enough to connect you back! The most enjoyable part of the movie is of course, Arjun, the protagonist's kid brother who is definitely a true 'kid' in a world of over-grown child actors.

And while we talk about the invincible spirit, can the mumbai autorickshaw drivers stay far behind? Nothing, absolutely nothing can break through their unbeatable spirit of refusing passengers anytime, all the time...

And cynically enough I admire the undaunted spirit of advertising agencies, who bargain and shop for "affordable" candidates...the big ones say they are big so they should not pay, the small ones say they are small so they cannot pay and the medium-sized ones possibly keep thinking...

And that brings me back to where I began...

A week of stagnation

2010-08-20T22:56:00.003+05:30

The bygone week was inactive, as can be. Nothing moved at all. Was it the rains, the resultant maladies or just simple laziness? Or maybe some higher power pondering over the next move! Sounds like relay of responsibilities, eh?

The unknown connect

2010-08-14T12:05:00.002+05:30

Just to think that a couple of days back I did not even know this lady. And today, I feel very heavy to hear of her daughter's death(a 19 year old girl) from a friend. When I visit her blog, I am touched by the amazing spirit and positivity of someone who is going through the hardest time of her life. Kudos to the spirit!

http://indianhomemaker.wordpress.com/2010/08/13/she-will-live-forever-in-our-hearts/

Take a bow

2010-08-13T21:34:00.002+05:30

My salsa teacher has gone on a sabbatical! Or so she claims. After attempting to teach students like me(with no clue of any form of dancing), she probably needs to rejuvenate. Taking a bow to a such a heroic soul!

All for the love of advertising

2010-08-12T20:24:00.005+05:30

Advertising is, informally defined, the art of blowing your own trumpet in a tune that you think suits your image to grab attention of anybody who cares to hear you out! And who knows it better than the FB, twitter and the rest-of-the-same-virtual-world addicts.

Under the guise of networking, my kinsmen keep on rhapsodizing about their mundane lives, e.g, "Too much traffic, how will I ever reach?" , "What life man!", "What am I doing?", "Today I saw a cutie pie on the road"...blah...blah...blah. And jumping to their rescue are the need-to-comment-on-everything brigade who obviously are dying to network and prying for attention! Hence the inane comments follow!

Curiously, even dogs, cats, rats and some other forms of life have also found their way into the virtual social networking sites! It's all about the company one keeps, I suppose.

Now coming to my irregular presence and absence in many/any of the sites - I do not consider my life that exciting to be providing arresting status updates every minute. And I often wonder, with genuine appreciation, at those who manage to package and advertise their regular lives in such a fascinating way so as to create enough hullabaloo. Original advertisers, I must say!

Job Hunting

2010-08-08T01:32:00.001+05:30

My recent tryst with job hunting has been amusingly interesting. Taking a leaf from my advertising experience, I will attempt to cluster the current interviewers...

The blissfully clueless ones – These are mostly recruitment consultants (I am a wee bit uncomfortable with ‘head hunters’), who even after having received my resume (and hopefully having glanced through it) come up with strange interview offers. The strangest so far was an offer to get interviewed for the post of ‘Chemical Engineer’. I had the sinister intention of going for the interview, and would have if the office had not been in the other part of the city.
The shocked workaholics – Who look at me as if I am from some other planet, having taken off for around 7 months. They inspect me strangely, trying to play Sherlock Holmes, when no crime has been committed.
The jealous no-choice workers – Yes, they would have loved this break but did not have it. Poor them!!!
The bargainers – A lovely brigade wanting to pay me less for taking the liberty. It’s a free world Mr. Bargainer. And I hope it’s your loss, finally.
The wannabe intimidators - Another charming group who definitely under estimate my memory and therefore try to intimidate me about work pressures!

Am enjoying these conversations as much as I am enjoying the sabbatical

Floating away...

2010-08-08T00:17:00.002+05:30

Here's a bit of wonderful news that I'd like to share with friends. I have finally(yes, finally) learnt to swim. Not that I have hopes of winning the Olympics, but learning to float on water itself gives me such a high(no pun intended). From my initial days of panic to these days of floating away without any support seems like a beautiful journey. And if I can manage it so far, so can you all who reportedly suffer from the same malady(self-imposed-phobia-of-water)!

Wow it's raining...

2010-06-17T00:06:00.002+05:30

...and I am not concerned at all. Unlike yesteryears when I used to be panic striken, wondering if transport will be stuck or the adjoining low lying areas to my erstwhile office will be flooded...can we meet deadlines...will others come to work...rain was more an impediment...

Not this year though....with my objective of catching up with life, I delight in the whimsical showers. And if that is not enough, I put on my walking shoes and walk right out getting drenched to my heart's content. What if I catch a sneeze...I have all the time to recuperate and walk in the rains again...

Hips don't lie...

2010-05-22T02:07:00.004+05:30

And neither does my waist, in fact both seem to have a mind of their own.

For the adorable J.Lo Salsa moves, both the waist & the hips need to be alive and kicking. After reposing for decades, my waist and hips are yet to step into active wakefulness. Sigh!!!

Silence

2010-05-06T22:12:00.001+05:30

Calm

Anger

Music

Hopelessness

Rest

Fatigue

Alertness

Helplessness

Death

Beginning

Appreciation

Disapproval

Love

Numbness

Sensitivity

Indifference

Empathy

...

Rushaholics

2010-04-25T20:53:00.002+05:30

Learnt this new word today - people who are perpetually rushing...are always running behind schedule...making lists...trying to do too many things...never satisfied with themselves...eat while reading/watching television...sounds familiar, eh?

Not a water baby

2010-04-16T22:31:00.003+05:30

My optimistic swimming coach had informed me that it takes all about 15 sessions to master water. As a reference, she named at least ten students who were petrified of water and now they swim like a fish!

And voila, she demonstrated how easy it is to float, swim and even possibly do the tango on water. Eager as I was, I jumped into the wannabe-swimmer brigade. And soon realized that I was destined to be an exception!

Armed with floats, floating board and a cool trainer I can float happily on water. And take all that away, to see me panic stricken wading(read 'walking') through the shallow waters on my swimming pool.

5 more sessions to go, and I see myself more as a master on the land.

I'd rather swim in my regular cup of tea every morning...sigh!!!

Enigma

2010-04-15T22:51:00.001+05:30

Distant yet close

Hurtful yet tender

Lovingly bitter

Teasingly serious

Caring yet cross

Wakefully asleep

Who are you?

I often wonder!

What's in a name?

2010-04-05T22:55:00.001+05:30

I suppose the RTO takes this saying a bit too seriously. Very happily they changed my name and issued my driving license!

The Knights Rocked

2010-04-01T23:39:00.002+05:30

Had to log back to cheer for the Kolkata Knight Riders who made a royal fool of their cynics and enemies right on April Fool's Day. 3 cheers for them!!!

Currently Reading...

2010-04-01T23:12:00.002+05:30

...The Circle of Innovation by Tom Peters

It is definitely an interesting read where the author gives effective tips of making project management more creative and fulfilling. To confess, this is the first management book that I am enjoying. Is it because I am far away from the world of dragons breathing fire down my neck?

Driving...

2010-03-31T12:56:00.001+05:30

Driving is definitely not managing the car. The car has been wonderfully designed so that anybody can manoeuvre it beautifully. It is about being cautious, managing and taking care of everything else. The moment I wear a driver’s spectacle, my view of the world changes.

Whoever said that our earth is being shorn of greenery is absolutely right. And whatever green is there is right on the middle of the road. They look extremely unwell and unhappy and I definitely do not want to add to their woes. So I am cautious.

Even if you can excuse plants because it is definitely not their fault that they have been planted at random, I really need to expand my heart for excusing humans and their wonderful walking styles. And all these styles are demonstrated on the roads itself, since the footpath is reserved for shops, vegetable vendors, construction work, littering and various other innovative purposes.

In course of my driving lessons, I have segmented* human beings as per their walking styles:

· The joggers – Since I drive in the morning, I often meet joggers lost in their own world. Probably jogging on the road is more challenging than jogging in a park. Most of the ones I encounter are so lost in reduction of fat/staying healthy that they probably have forgotten the use of their ears.

· The casual walkers – They seem to enjoy their walk. They usually look up (the sky must be beautiful) or around (shops/vegetable vendors etc etc) and never bother about passing cars. Obviously it is not their headache.

· The hurried walkers – They are up to some mission – reaching their workplace on time, catching the next bus/train - and do not care about the rest of the world.

· The love birds – Love definitely has no time or place. They seem to be so engrossed in each other the chaos and noise of the world do not reach their love struck ears.

· The challengers – The moment they see a car with the ‘L’ sign they get into the act. Of providing the new born driver with challenges – they turn a deaf ear to the horn, they walk in herds in a zig zag fashion so that the driver is kept guessing, and they also love to provide the driver with their suggestions.

· The have-nots – They are definitely an unhappy lot and grudge anybody sitting behind the steering. You just need to give them an opportunity to explode!

P.S. *This segmentation bit is the advertising hangover, underestimate the uniqueness of individuals and segregate them into categories/segments...

Driving Myself – Day 1

2010-02-20T18:31:00.001+05:30

Today was my first driving lesson. In the 30 minute slot allotted, I reached 10 minutes late just to find that the driving school’s grandfather clock runs late by 20 minutes.:)

As I kept waiting for my ‘instructor’ at the school, I could not help but notice a distantly familiar, overfriendly, over enthusiastic auto rickshaw driver whom I had rudely shrugged off not very long ago. And for reasons best known to him, he kept on looking at me stealthily. Something that I have always detested - that look from any quarter. More so, because you cannot go and ask the person, “Why do you keep staring at me?”

The puzzle was resolved when I was told that this auto driver is my ‘instructor’! I annoyingly blurted out, “But he drives an auto!”, only to be told that he is one of the most sought after instructor in this area! So, unintentionally I was already not friendly with my driving guru.

Like a true professional, he led me to the about-to-be-repaired Maruti Esteem parked near the school. He indicated the driver’s seat to me. Obediently, I climbed in. He sat on the next seat and asked me my name. Like most people in Mumbai, he did not get it. After a few unsuccessful attempts, he gave up. And introduced me to the car - the oils used, clutch, the break, the accelerator, gears and the rest of the family. He made sure I parroted the family tree well, and kept reminding me at irregular intervals that during the license test I will be asked all these difficult questions by the RTO officer. And if I want to pass the test, I better know the basics well. After 20 minutes of “theory” lessons, he declared the end of today’s class and asked me to come back on Monday. I tried to give the ‘instructor’ a vague smile.

Am still trying to figure out the moral of this story! Any suggestions?

Sabbatical must-dos

2010-02-18T23:17:00.002+05:30

· Forget the existence of the alarm clock. Wake up anytime you want and go to sleep any time you want
· Grow healthier (eat healthy – exercise-meditate-do anything that suits you)
· Read all that you never had time for
· Catch up on films
· Stay away from cynics, pessimists and those who lecture you on the bad economic condition
· Learn all that you never had time for
· Learn all that you kept postponing
· Know your friends – the fair weathered ones will immediately get into hibernation
· Know yourself
· Explore your neighbourhood/country/planet and whatever your budget permits
· Be happy and let life take its own course

Ahchoooo....

2010-02-13T23:43:00.003+05:30

As Valentine Day is just around the corner, I am happy lending a patient ear to Valentine Day plans for the rest of the world.

As for me I am discovering the secret language of sneezes. My Valentine this year is Common Cold, and my love for the same just cannot be expressed! I have spend the last two days in Common Cold's company and the love is multiplied every second. Common Cold has gifted me with a lovely fountain that keeps running down my nose with as much enthusiasm as the Ganges(to use a cliche) and tissue papers are my best friend nowadays, since I can only confide to them.

The villain of this drama is of course the doctor, and he is conspicuous by his incapability to deal with my Valentine!

10 on 10

2010-02-05T18:41:00.004+05:30

One of the constructive ways to utilise my sabbatical is to learn things that I have not attempted so far. Driving was the first on that list. So after having pondered and wondered for a while, I finally managed to enrol my lazy self to a driving school that’s just around the corner.

And today we visited the RTO for a learner’s license. The driving school representative who escorted us to the RTO was either an amateur or a car racer. Either way, all four of us huddled in the car for our learner’s license prayed for our lives and health!

The RTO and its strange ways was a maze. Swarms of people, right from college students to auto rickshaw drivers to truck drivers to directionless souls like us gathered at different corners not knowing what to do next. Our escort’s sudden presence at the right moment kept us going. Most of us were sure that we’d get the learner’s license (what the heck!) until our escort cheerfully informed us that we will have to take an exam. He seemed to be cool about the multiple choice questions, but we were unprepared. As panic hit us, and we passed on the same to happy neighbours standing around, the school old instinct of wanting to know the question paper before the exam kept us on our toes. With wavering eyes (looking for possible question papers floating around) and alert ears (to overhear questions) we awaited our turn!

The examiner’s assistant led us to our respective seats. As luck would have it, I was one of the last benchers. So were 5 other women. The examiner’s assistant proved to be a kind soul. He profusely apologised for such a shabby treatment to ‘ladies’ – putting them on the last bench and not providing them with chairs to sit on. He compensated all the shortcomings by offering to help us out in the multiple choice questions. One finger indicated option 1, 2 fingers option 2 and 3 fingers option 3. Simple!

And voila, even without having a look at the question projected on screen all 6 last benchers scored 10 on 10! Wish all examiners in life were so compassionate.

Nursery Rhyme revisited

2010-02-04T12:21:00.003+05:30

Monday's child is fair of face,

Tuesday's child is full of grace,

Wednesday's child is full of woe,

Thursday's child has far to go,

Friday's child is loving and giving,

Saturday's child works hard for a living,

But the child who is born on the Sabbath Day

Is bonny and blithe and good and gay

(First recorded in A. E. Bray's Traditions of Devonshire in 1838)

The world of half baked notes

2010-02-02T23:37:00.002+05:30

The notebook flipped

The angry tail of the scorpion

Flashed out

And coiled back again.

The prince was about to ride out

But where would it go?

The sulky nod took it back

To the neglected page again.

“Vande Mataram” sang the next page

I looked at it longingly

“No, you are complete.”

The smirk of the turbaned man

“I have learnt to accept rejection.”

The lady stood there

Watering plants on the hills

She looked expectantly at the gate

And then towards me

Or so I thought.

Netra yawned,

Yes, she was tired of waiting

For artworks

And publishers as well.

Many moods of the sky

2010-01-29T21:16:00.001+05:30

Golden – initiation, inspiration, unsullied, carefree, honest, hopeful...

Sunny sky – hot, glaring...

Blue sky with
A single cloud – a solitary wanderer, filled with ideas...
Two closely floating clouds – lovers on a stroll...
Two distant clouds – lovers on a tiff...
A floating group – migrating, looking for abode...
A group unmoving – stagnant, expectant of an outward push...

The still sky – hopeless, pining for a change...

The grey sky – gloomy, sulky, brooding, ruminating...

Dark sky with black clouds – anger, threatening, vulnerable...

Stormy sky – vindictive...

Red sky – tired, drained, vindicated, restful...

Moonlit sky – warm, deceptive...

Starry starry nights – Beauty, nostalgia, love, sensitive, cozy, soft...

Avtaar

2010-01-29T16:35:00.001+05:30

Watching this 3D movie was definitely fun. Never mind the philosophical message, projection of colonial ambitions, predictable plot et al, it was worth the experience. For around 3 hours characters kept throwing things at me, screamed on my face, ran down just under my nose and strange animals charged at me without reason.

I enjoyed every moment of it. Loved going to the theatre just for the special effects!

My sabbatical continues...

2010-01-19T17:50:00.000+05:30

Today I complete a month and a day of my sabbatical. And I realise that it takes a month to get used to living without a set pattern. For years it was a pattern – a pattern that I may have not loved but it had become a part of my existence.

The euphoria of a sabbatical gave way to a strange void in the first couple of weeks. Did I miss my job? Not really. But the mind was used to a pattern, and the prolonged weekend enjoyment seemed a bit alien.

A month down the line the euphoria is again back with a bang, and it is getting a bit tough to explain to the child inside that this sabbatical is with a cause...

Pulling the plug

2009-12-03T18:04:00.003+05:30

You have to know what you are doing and that's real power - Ayn Rand

For a while I have been wondering what am I doing. And I have had no answers. Because I really did not know what I was doing. Maybe, I was earning a living. And giving up on life? But my unhappiness was glaring . Yes, I did manage to put on a demeanour, or so I thought. Those who knew me knew I was not happy. And even some of those who did not know me that well kind of figured it. And most importantly, I was seeing myself giving up on life. My despair knew no bounds when that sudden spark hit me. What if I weeded out everything that made me unhappy? And begin the quest for happiness? That thought itself was liberating...and the action invigorating.
As I walk down the untreaded path, a strange sense of liberation, curiosity, energy and bliss surrounds me. I don't know where this road will lead me, but the journey itself is worth it.

Silence

2009-03-09T22:16:00.000+05:30

Sheltered by
A beautiful cloak of silence
I walk on
Through the vales of life.

Pausing here
To feel the breeze
And pausing there
To see the flowers.

I reach home
Or the valley underneath
And catch the clouds
Float by.

And then I float up
To the top of the hill
At home
Welcomed by silence.

Haywire

2008-11-30T15:02:00.004+05:30

Broken rhythm
Incomplete melodies
Ambiguous thoughts
Cluttered mind
Harrowed soul
Garbled existence
Inane conversations
with persistent attempts to overcome them all!

The Maze

2008-08-20T00:07:00.009+05:30

I stand lost in this maze
Confounded, bound, helpless, unsure
Is it worth marching ahead?

The paths seem known, from distant memory
Familiar yet untreaded
Shadowy and sheltering

That point of light
Warm, loving, friendly and tender
Lurks at the journey's end

I don't decide, I just follow
The auburn alleys
For I have experienced bliss, before...

Enjoying myself ...

2008-08-14T12:44:00.001+05:30

... Walk in the rain, jump in mud puddles, collect rocks, rainbows and roses, smell flowers, blow bubbles, stop along the way, build sandcastles, say hello to everyone, go barefoot, go on adventures, act silly, fly kites, have a merry heart, talk with animals, sing in the shower, read childrens' books, take bubble baths, get new sneakers, hold hands and hug and kiss, dance, laugh and cry for the health of it, wonder and wander around, feel happy and precious and innocent, feel scared, feel sad, feel mad, give up worry and guilt and shame, say yes, say no, say the magic words, ask lots of questions, ride bicycles, draw and paint, see things differently, fall down and get up again, look at the sky, watch the sun rise and sun set, watch clouds and name their shapes, watch the moon and stars come out, trust the universe, stay up late, climb trees, daydream, do nothing and do it very well, learn new stuff, be excited about everything, be a clown, enjoy having a body, listen to music, find out how things work, make up new rules, tell stories, save the world, make friends with the other kids on the block, and do anything else that brings more happiness, celebration, health, love, joy, creativity, pleasure, abundance, grace, self-esteem, courage, balance, spontaneity, passion, beauty, peace, relaxation, communication and life energy to...all living beings on this planet.

-Bruce Williamson, It's Never Too Late To Have A Happy Childhood, 1987

Something like an Autobiography

2008-06-29T22:15:00.012+05:30

I have always loved Akira Korosawa’s films. And I have just finished reading his autobiography – “Something like an autobiography”(Translated by Audie E. Bock).
The most striking feature about this autobiography is the utmost modesty with which Kurosawa captures his life. One of the most inspiring autobiographies I have ever read, I was particularly mesmerised by Kurosawa’s spirit, his love for life and his dynamism.
It is very difficlult to capture the autobiography here and I'd like to recommend it to all and sundry. I think the best way of capturing the essence of the autobiography is to enlist excerpts that touched upon different aspects of his life...
On Life:
…as if I had after a long time at last come to a place where there was air
…there were many such teachers who harboured a libertarian spirit an a wealth of individual qualities. By comparison with them among today’s schoolteachers there are too many plain “salaryman” drudges. Or perhaps…there are too many bereaucrat types…the kind of education they dispense isn’t worth a damn
…Nature takes good care of herself. What makes nature ugly is the behaviour of human beings.
…the memories of this place fade into the distance like a village seen from a train window, growing smaller and hazier
…I set out on a winding path beset by wind and snow
…This is probably true of human life everywhere – a light exterior hides a dark underside.
…to develop a personal vision is not easy…this insufficiency caused me not only dissatisfaction but uneasiness…I became more and more irritated with myself
…At last I had climbed to the base of the peak I had to scale and I stood gazing up at my mountain.
…I can’t help wondering what fate had prepared me so well for this road I was to take in life
His marriage and the backstabbing of the friend he employed to play cupid.
…To this day I can’t understand it. I can’t think of any reason this fellow should have hated me so much.What dwells at the bottom of the human heart remains a mystery to me. Since that time I have observed many different kinds of people – swindlers, people who have killed or died for money, plagiarists – and they all look like normal people, so I am confused. In fact, more than “normal” these people have nice faces and they say very nice things, so I am more confused.
…The cheerful brightness of the song threw my black mood into high relief intensifying my sorrow to an intolerable degree. …The emptiness we felt was neither sadness nor loneliness For Rashomon - Human beings are unable to be honest with themselves about themselves. They cannot talk about themselves without embellishing. This script portrays such human beings – the kind who cannot survive without lies to make them feel they are better people than they really are. It even shows this sinful need for flattering falsehood going beyond the grave – even the character who dies cannot give up his lies when he speaks to the living through a medium. Egoism is a sin the human beings carries with him from birth; it is the most difficult to redeem. This film is like a strange picture scroll that is unrolled and displayed by the ego …and angel appeared out of nowhere …people indeed have immense difficulty in talking about themselves as they really are…the human animal suffers from the trait of instinctive self-aggrandizement.
On censors
…the censors…behaved as if they suffered from persecution complexes, sadistic tendencies and various sexual manias. They cut every single kiss scene out of foreign movies…They said that such things would stimulate carnal desires
His joy of film-making as expressed for all his films
... my overall impression of it was that of a very pleasant excursion, like a picnic, for a director each work he completes is like a whole lifetime
His arresting narrative of his gradual maturity as a professional.
And his sensitivity is best manifested when he doesn’t directly speak of post-war pain, but shows it in ‘Stray Dog’
To sum up, "Something Like an Autobiography" is a very good read indeed!

Unbroken rhythm

2008-06-24T17:19:00.002+05:30

Moody Drizzle
Unbroken Rhythm
Nostalgia

Poetry
Melody
Somnolent hours

Adda
Cha
Kolkata

Blissful (im)mobile existence

2008-06-04T13:50:00.007+05:30

Being technologically challenged(and very apologetically so), I have never been able to fully and unconditionally appreciate the mobile phone and it's intrusion in our lives.

From my perspective, that is severely clouded by mobile dementia, I have only been able to fathom the discomfort of having to carry that piece of machinery with me always, as expected by the rest of the world. To me the mobile phone resulted in

a loss of privacy("Hey what are you doing now"),

being answerable to all and sundry("Where are you?"),

tolerating irritating tele-callers("Mr. Nilanjana would you like a home loan?"),

being tracked by work/business associates("How far have you'll reached?"),

and being subject to silly sms-es("Now download your favourite jokes...") at wee hours in the morning.

And now that my ex-mobile phone has ditched me, and the next one is still on it's way, I am peacefully blissful(to say the least).

Enjoying the honeymoon till it lasts:)

Nostalgia

2008-05-24T15:02:00.003+05:30

A few days back I had this very strange dream. I was in Gariahat(for the uninitiated, it is a well known shopping zone in good old Calcutta) getting drenched in the first showers, with a morcha passing by me.
And this was old Gariahat without the flyover.

Nostalgia - for the Calcutta rains and the old city.
Maybe distance really makes the heart grow fonder!

The Magical Touch

2008-03-19T12:10:00.002+05:30

I have always believed in magic. I was born with magic; the world was full of magic, with wonderful plants and creatures around me. Magical lanterns lived in my imagination and their purple-pink-green-red-yellow glow kept my spirit lit. The storms, fires, rains, comets were all inside me. I could sense what they were trying to communicate. I loved every moment of my magical existence.
Gradually life took over; or rather practicality of life was made to take over. In the form of realistic glasses. The mind was made to analyse each and every incident from an experienced, educated viewpoint, to ooze out the magic that I was born with. Magic was considered a childish fantasy or a stupidity or imaginary craziness of a susceptible mind. The essence that I was born with seemed to be combed out. The analytical glasses and the practical angle possibly made life simpler but the charm was gone. I felt I had lost something, something very precious, and felt empty.
It is only of late that I seem to be getting connected back to the magic. Someone, somewhere is connecting me back to it. Whatever it is, whoever it is, I am grateful, I am happy. And I think I can hold the charming magic inside, while putting on a mask of educated practicality.

The lost world of television

2008-03-17T18:25:00.011+05:30

Yesterday indicated the end of another nostalgic journey. Not that I did not realize a while back that this journey was coming to an end. My connection with an old world luxury - branded as a necessity a while back - downgraded to the super-idiot box right now, is lost. And I don't even feel a sense of loss. It is a relief, a relief of being spared of the mundane nonsense, a relief of irriating hype and a welcome realisation that I have some more time for myself.

In the good old days television had a wonderful charm.Though it was called the idiot box by cynical old-timers, it was a new experience and very fascinating. Television was then B&W, and yet the films, the serials and everything was fresh. We were used to scheduling our activities around our favourite programmes. Infact most of the programmes were watched by the entire family and they were interesting and engaging.

Later on the world of television altered into a colorful one, with the charm continuing. With the introduction of the satellite, the world was in our living room. We were exposed to a host of different programmes - alluring, nostalgic, shocking, wierd, exciting, sad, ecstatic, known, strange - but interesting, nevertheless.

For a while now, television has degenerated. The rage of saas-bahu serials fail to entice me. I think I am just a simpleton hence I cannot comprehend these wonderfully made-up, complicated sagas that seem to allure the whole country. Unfortunately(or fortunately) for me, I don't even have the patience or the interest to follow the phoren counterparts of these sagas. Music channels(MTV, Channel V) were a lil more engaging - but they keep on playing the same tracks time and again, though the programmes are branded differently and hosted by different VJs. Reportedly, they play what the market demands. But does the market demand the same song, albeit new, some 30 times a day?

News channels were definitely better, but television news now is like hyped crap. Every other piece of news is breaking news - whether it is some tantric trying to do his jig, or some actress being beaten by her husband or some silly things like that. It keeps me wondering about the relevance of "breaking news", that has become more like a silly claim to 2 minutes fame. And it's the same all over NDTV, Star News, CNN, IBN et al.

Movie channels, with their never ending advertisements are also not a great watch. Only the documentaries(National Geographic, Discovery...) seem to still be the only choice.

After being a part of this degeneration, rather complainingly, for a while, I have decided to call it quits. I have had enough of all this. I think my time deserves more and something better. And if television is not providing the same, there is no dearth of other mediums.

Besides, I am quite willing to pay for interesting and sensible information. Provided someone takes the pain to churn out the same! But are there any like me?

Truth Well Told

2008-03-06T14:27:00.005+05:30

Advertising is perhaps one of the most exciting professions of the world. Those who are really passionate believe that advertising is not exactly a profession, but a habit and it gradually evolves into an extension of your personality. Advertising professionals gradually develop a nose for finding insights at the most peculiar situations, when they are with people who are less guarded and are more honest in their opinions and suggestions.

Unfortunately for advertising today, many people are opting out of the excitement. The primary reason is the meagre money offered. From being one of the highest paid professions, it has gradually subsided to one of the least paying ones. The allure of money and a better lifestyle is difficult to evade. Added to that, are the frustrations that keep floating at different levels of the system.

In most cases, advertising boasts of understanding the humane side of the business. Unfortunately today most people in an advertising agency are treated as “resource”s. The degeneration hasn’t led to more “resource”s flocking into the business. When someone new joins the agency, with the amount of stress going on in any business, people are just expected to jump into the current and catch what is happening. Instead of taking a look at the overall perspective, people are initiated by fire. And honestly, no initiation really happens. It becomes more a play of smartness and common sense. Some humane managers do realize the need; they do spend some time with their team members. But by and large the top management is really not interested in initiating “pappus” who they think are smart enough to get initiated themselves. However, they spare no effort to update prospective clients and others about the grand offering and the global structure of the organization. Communicating the same to those inside the system consumes a lot of time, and when do they have time anyway?

Today I was really taken aback when the agency I joined actually took a step back and initiated us into the 100 year old lineage of the agency. Yes, it was a little tiring to hop across to office on a holiday, but the joy of the getting to know the lineage by someone who is proud of the same felt really good. He sounded passionate about being a part of the lineage and passion, as they say, is really infectious. His was a Truth Well Told. And most of us in the room were truly touched. Hope advertising returns to being humane soon enough!

Lost & Sorry

2008-02-01T16:12:00.005+05:30

I have been feeling very lost for a while now. Thanks to the ever growing world of social networking.

To be very honest, neither am I social nor am I a deft networker.

Almost a year back I was forced to get on to Orkut. Those who could manage to, influenced me to set up an account and keep accessing it. While they were very successful with the first part, the second part turned out to be a big failure.
Scrappers never received a return scrap...most of the time I found myself very inadept in replying to scraps. Added to that, was a host of unoccupied people want to be "frands". The entire episode was unappealing. Or maybe it's just my mindblock.

And now again for another 8 months or so I am being pestered to join Facebook. So another account is opened, same details copied & pasted, and similar friends sending repeat friend request. I am not confident about my regularity here also.

I seem to find the old-fashioned e-mail much better. If I want to talk to somebody I'll call up (with ISD/STD rates crashing, it's not too heavy on the pocket either), or IM or send e-mails. I have not really understood or appreciated the fact that a scrap conversation between 2 people can be accessed by a host of others. To me it is the breach of privacy!

However, the world has a different POV. The virtual umbilical chord is getting more active by the day. Most of us have at least one friend in every continent, so what's the better way to wipe out geographical barriers? With people wishing to run at the speed of light to cope up with responsibilities and expectations, what is the better way to catch a day-to-day(at times hour-by-hour) feed world of their old buddies, albeit in the virtual world.

Unfortunately for me, I cannot really digest this form of friendship. To me friendship brings in memories of bunking classes, sharing gossips, laughing aloud about nothing, arguing more about silly things, sharing big sorrows, crying over petty hurts, sharing little joys, expressing unrestrained emotions, and a lot more that just adds up to that deep sense of bonding that would probably last a whole life time. I really feel lost when I have to capture the same through scraps; e-mails and chats definitely have that personal touch.

Of course, I can understand if scraps are used to maintain that casual conversation with acquaintances, be politically correct or grab that opportunity by sounding smart. In that sense the world of social networking probably opens up a host of opportunities that were never heard of before.

With due apologies, this post is dedicated to all those friends who insist I scrap them. I hope you understand that this is really not my cup of tea, or give me time (dunno how long) to accommodate (!!!) myself to this re-defined form of succinct lack-of-depth conversations.

Another toast at life

2008-01-20T00:20:00.001+05:30

I walked benumbed in the crowds. Lost and hopeless. Unimaginative and uninspired. I did not know what had come to me! This was not me, but I could not escape myself. I panicked, but could not react.

Every day life was bypassing me. I pined to touch the energy that so evaded me. Was my soul lying dormant? Why?

This continued for days, when I just dragged myself in the crowd of humanity. Life seemed to elude me, as I traversed in zombee-like wakefulness amongst the regular mundanities of life.

And then I felt a spark, a tremor in my soul.

It was just a rainbow in the horizon.

Or was it something else? ...

Ecstatic I bounced back to life.

Stumbled across these images titled "Heights of Revenge"

2007-11-23T14:11:00.000+05:30

Back to the Grind

2007-11-04T23:20:00.000+05:30

Pressed clients
Stressed bosses
Failed deadlines

Pollution & heat
Rushed trains
Jammed roads

Hyperactive days
Harried evenings
Tired nights

Somnolent weekends
Mystical Musings

Celebrating the spirit of the Pujas

2007-10-25T22:18:00.001+05:30

If my homecoming this year has been a little dampening, the last few days at home could not be better. I stumbled upon a copy of DURGA PUJA: CELEBRATING THE GODDESS THEN AND NOW by Sudeshna Banerjee. The coffee table version had been lying at home for a year now, nicely decorating one of the bookcases. This year the book invited me to have a look at Durga Puja and savour the true spirit of Ma.

Many of us, who have grown up with non-commercialised traditional Pujas, and are interested in the evolution of rich cultural heritage of eastern India, will definitely find this book a very good read. The book walks you through the mythical origins of the Puja, the socio-cultural evolution, the rituals and the economic ramification. Sudeshna has widely researched the grandest festival of Bengal, and has attempted to unravel the mystery of the mantras. The book taps into the myths of the shift of a spring ritual to an autumnal one (with Lord Rama’s invocation of the goddess when he wanted to fight Ravana).

The book takes you through history, to times that we have never experienced as it traces the Puja of the babus(gentlemen) during the British Raj. Amply spiced with anecdotes of the 18th, 19th & 20th century, the book captures the powerful spirit of the Mother Goddess & the Pujas. The book then logically flows into the Pujas as seen in our times, with all its commercialisation, contests and varying themes.

Available in a coffee table version( DURGA PUJA: CELEBRATING THE GODDESS THEN AND NOW) & a paper back version(DURGA PUJA:YESTERDAY, TODAY & TOMORROW) ; I personally prefer the coffee table one. With its capturing narrative and fascinating visuals DURGA PUJA: CELEBRATING THE GODDESS THEN AND NOW encompasses the spirit of the Pujas. And there is no reason to detain the spirit only during the 4 days of the Pujas. The spirit lives on, all through the year providing us with hope, courage, perseverance and happiness.

Eyes of the advertiser

2007-10-23T22:36:00.001+05:30

This post has been long overdue, at least in my mind.

For a while I have been keeping a tab on Indian advertisements on “skincare” and “haircare”. Maybe my feminine instincts have been working harder. And to me it seems that beauty now lies in the eye of the advertiser.

Consciously or unconsciously, advertising seems to imply a stereotype that is obviously different from the way women were depicted earlier. She is no longer the housewife who bargains for a better deal at the vegetable market, but refuses to compromise on her washing powder. She is the ever – efficient mom who is excellent at work, and equally good at home. She seems to be juggling work and home with equal ease, a woman of substance. And she looks beautiful…always.

Women in advertisements today are gorgeous. Gone are the bad hair days, and with a particular brand of hair oil she can be “gorgeous hamesha” – in love, pain, stress or work - from a male gaze.

Brands of skin care promise uncompromising glow. “If you want to blush like a newly wed, try our skin care product, and Mr.Charming will just walk up to you.” Cinderella complex nicely blended with better skin management. Of course, you’d not like stress showing on your face. So instead of stress management try z range of skincare products to keep glowing all the time. Who needs stress management when a brand of moisturiser can do the needful? If you think you are a “city girl” try the other range, coz it’s especially for you.

And if the gods don’t love you, they make you dark. And all options are closed to you. You need to be fair to make it in a man’s world, right? So what’s stopping you? Change your skin colour, and you’d get the guy or the job or both!

Fighting age has never been so easy. Some brands use dermatologists and celebrity testimonials. Others throw a challenge. And the age for fighting wrinkles is 25! Whoever said ‘Life begins at 40’ forgot all about wrinkles and women’s paranoia about the same. So if you look old, and if you have those fine lines you are silly and uninformed!

Then there is a brand of soaps that has promised beauty as befits film stars. Their current communication has again featured a beauty queen turned film star. However the ad storyline is that of an ugly duckling turned into a swan. And voila, after she has used this particular brand of soap she has a line of admirers trailing her, never mind her star status. Of course fairness is another big promise in this category as well. So soap not only cleanses…it takes care of all your complexes as well.

Those brands who could not think smarter, or were honest, or partly both emphasized healthy skin. Now so many of them have promised this, that the TOM recall is nil!

Advertisements have been redefining the standard of beauty. If becoming beautiful(society/advertisement defined) is so easy with x brand of shampoo and z brand of moisturiser then all women will turn into young, glowing, gorgeous and fair beauty queens, never mind the stress of daily life.

In our attempt to redefine the modern liberated women in advertisements, we are imposing a new stereotype that may not essentially boost the much sought after individuality. Is this not restricting the definition of the “fairer” sex again? And if so then how is advertising today different from the previous era that was supposedly restrictive in nature?

Home Coming

2007-10-22T22:08:00.001+05:30

Once upon a time this was home. Durga Puja had a special charm. It was ushered in with much fanfare. We researched for 4 months in advance, rehearsed for a couple of months before the Puja to put up a performance – songs, dance, drama, mono acting…it was a challenge to find an innovation every year. New clothes were exclusive for this time of the year. Friends were close knit; relatives were warm and bubbling with encouragement. Proud parents were always gushing about the special talents of their young ones. The weather with its varying moods was never a dampener – whether it rained or it did not, never mattered. Of course we kept a tab on the Mother Goddess and the vehicle that she opted for, be it for her arrival or her departure. According to our system of beliefs the vehicle of arrival or departure affected the mood of the weather and our well being in general. In any case, this was a time for celebration, of joy and festivity. The décor of the pandals were simple. In most cases it was a range of sarees gathered from neighbouring houses. The Mother Goddess arrived with her 4 children – Ganesha(accompanied by his wife, “Kalabau”, and his pet, the rat), Lakshmi (accompanied by her pet owl), Saraswati(accompanied by her pet swan) and Kartik(accompanied by the flamboyant peacock). They looked the same year after year, so much so that they seemed like a part of the extended family. The dhakis(Indian drum beaters) woke us up in the morning, and kept on playing different themes in the course of the day. On all the 4 days all of us huddled together at the local pandal. Most of the families never cooked during the 4 days – it was “bhog” for all of us at the local pandal. Only one or two days were dedicated to visiting pandals of friends. After all who would like to go away from the warmth of the home pandal? Besides, we all had to rehearse for the “Dashami” programme. I always felt that the Dashami programme was to uplift our mood from the depressing aftermath of the Mother’s visarjan. Every year we looked forward to Durga Puja – it was simply fun, warmth, joy and lots of love.

This year I felt particularly gloomy. It was home coming for me as well, but gone are the days of simple fun. Durga Puja has become professional. It is more of a booming business. Pandals now have special sculptors engaged to “customise” their interpretation of Durga and her colour coordinated children Never mind the artistic angle, the Mother of our extended family looks too distant for comfort. The pandals have become extravagantly competitive, and with awards in the offing, most pandals are out to be the best. Hence you see pandals like Hogwarts, like castles of Jaipur and everything else but simple Puja pandals. Most of the pandals have done away with live dhakis. They are now used sparingly during the aarati. Undoubtedly these pandals look elegant, and professionally managed…but the spirit is lost. The showers on Saptami helped me with an appropriate excuse to stay at home. The charm, the warmth, the joy and the curiosity are all gone.

So have friends…who are all busy with their lives in different corners of the world.

Is the spirit dead or it is another case of lost innocence?

Re-visiting the Lion’s Fort

2007-10-19T22:15:00.001+05:30

The chill was not biting, but it was cold. Enthusiasm got the better of us as we decided to revisit the Lion’s fort (Sinhagad). It felt new again. The fort situated 800 metres above the surrounding countryside is one of the most popular weekend destinations for those residing in Pune.

Situated around 30 kms away from Pune, Sinhagad Fort is fascinatingly simple in its appearance. The first time when I visited the fort, I was a little deceived by the front façade - a simple boulder standing amidst a plateau. It took me a while to discover the intriguing terrains where Shivaji resided for a while.

The fort has an interesting history. The site, previously known as Kondana, was reportedly strategically important from the 14th century. Shivaji resided and ruled the fort for some time. That tenure was witness to quite a few interesting anecdotes. Reportedly, young men were encouraged to discover newer routes to reach the peak. Those who were successful were felicitated by money & fame. It was probably an innovative route to enhance the security of the fort. Later on Aurangzeb captured the fort. Tanaji Malusare, one of Shivaji’s able generals, re-captured the fort again. He entered the fort through one of the steepest cliffs. Unfortunately he died in the battle (1670). In his memory Shivaji christened Kondana to Sinhagad. Tanaji’s bust atop the hill is a proof of his valour. Interest in the fort revived when Lokmanya Tilak constructed a bungalow atop the fort in the 20th century. He is believed to have written many of his compositions here. More recently the NDA trains it is cadets around the fort.

Now in ruins, the fort has an interesting amalgamation of flora and fauna. The beauty of the fort varies with season. My first trip during the end of winter was beautified by the sunset from the top of the hill. The landscape was largely barren. Post monsoon the hill is decked up with varied greenery. Near any source of water, one can find busy crabs not interested in tolerating human nonsense. The one-upon-a-time military outpost has temples dedicated to deities Shivaji worshipped. The fort also has many sources of water; the most striking one is a sweet water pond.

Inspired by anecdotes of finding new routes, we attempted a different route to the fort this time, and we followed different traces of reaching the same spot. It was an early morning trek, so we were bubbling with energy. Families had come with their kids, and their enthusiasm was unmatched. The fresh air, the ambience and the intrigue of revisiting history had energised us as well. The trek down hill was satiated with chai and bhajiya.

While we were trekking downhill, we saw two school buses full of girls and boys being escorted by strict teachers armed with sharp tongues and canes. The children were bubbling with energy but the teachers were saddled with responsibility. Surely this would be another interesting trip uphill!

Jammed...

2007-09-25T14:46:00.001+05:30

...and congested. On air, on road and everywhere. It is frustrating. If one is travelling on the road, one needs to carry means of entertaining oneself. The unpredictable hours of being static on the road needs relaxation & recreation. Same for spending hours on air...Maybe it's time to explore waterways!

An identity crisis...

2007-09-18T16:02:00.000+05:30

...It all began when a business associate of mine found my name difficult to pronounce. He is British, so my name may be a little tongue-twisting. He shortened it to NJ, and politely asked me if I was comfortable.

Now the entire office calls me NJ, it is supposed to be cool. I really cannot fathom how Indians can find anglicizing Indian names cool!

Back on Blogosphere

2007-09-17T16:11:00.000+05:30

Pre Jetsetting Hues

Just loved the thought of being on the fast track, of having the entire country just waiting for me, of sailing amidst clouds.
Devoid of natural wings, and yet enjoying the flight.
Looking down upon urban jungle and the natural ones.
Touching distant parts of the country.
Savouring different slices of life.
Vanity got the better of me, so I flashed my travel plans!
Surely, I had arrived in life…or so I thought!

Post Jetsetting Blues

The clouds eluded me, they didn’t seem to care; they moved at their own pace.
I was not a guest, nor was I acknowledged!
Nature extended no cordialities.
Only slapped angry floods.

Is flying so tiring? The birds don’t look tired at all!

My country is beautiful, but I didn’t have the leisure to appreciate.
Jetsetting from one city to the other…life cannot be enjoyed in such a hurry.
Work & leisure did not find each other compatible.

Sleep is my best friend now, I visit it often.
Viruses have fallen in love with me.
I don’t reciprocate…but don’t have a choice either!

Absent in Blogosphere

2007-08-24T18:12:00.000+05:30

When I began blogging, I had intended to be regular. But the beauties of the country has taken over my noble intentions. Work related travel takes me around India, and I manage to squeeze in enough time to visit places of historical and botanical interest. Hence I am absent from blogosphere. The beauties of the real world is more alluring than the virtual world:)

60th year of Indian Independence

2007-08-17T16:41:00.001+05:30

This Independence Day was nothing unusual…I found myself on a roller coaster ride, bellicose with contradictory emotions. The cynic in me sneered at the Independence Day celebrations, while the perennial optimist never felt more liberated.

A cynic’s observations: I am not really sure what we mean by Independence. Our celebrated patriots fought to get the Brits out of the country, for us to rule the country. Thanks to the Munnabhai films, people are aware of Gandhi, albeit in the form of Gandhigiri.
60 years down the line, we have never been more anglicized. Speaking good English & writing the same are a mark of education & better pay package. Those with a “vernac” accent are often the butt of jokes.
We are all keen to work on MNCs for better monies and exposure. The rise of call centers has given birth to a generation who make a living out of faking accents and mannerisms.
Many of us want to go abroad and settle there, never mind the floating stories of loneliness and alienation in a foreign land.
I often meet proud parents who boast of their children’s impeccable english and poor mother – tongue.
We prefer western form of clothing, rather than Indian wear. Of course mix-n-match is the order of the day. Traditional outfits are best left for traditional occasions.
Many of us have moved out of our hometown for better career prospects, hence the empty nest syndrome is shooting up amongst the senior citizens. In many families, parents are unable to understand career ambitions of their children. It looks like a new generation is on the rise – a generation that is trying hard to be Indian. Will India be just a name with a conglomeration of different cultures identities and lifestyle? Is that the independence that the patriots fought for?

An optimists’ perspective: We in India have never been freer. The country is in the process of undergoing grand economic and social liberation.
Opportunities are galore, and we have to pick up a career of our choice. We need not be stuck with a particular career; many people in their mid-thirties are switching to a completely new vocation.
MNCs are looking at India seriously as an economic destination – be it for business purposes or otherwise. Many fence sitting NRIS are returning to India for good.
It is interesting to know that “Indology” is gradually becoming a popular subject.
India always had a culture of inculcating more into itself. That is just becoming better and broader by the day. All our languages are getting more contemporarised – and it’s probably better to have a working knowledge of 3 or 4 languages than being the master of one.
Indians never had more choice in life – be it in clothing, food or anything else. Life seem to have given us the wings that we have always lacked.
Those keen on experimenting with life, institutions and other aspects had never had it easy. If the society today does not accept "the different" with open arms, they are also not treated as social outcastes. We have learnt to accommodate all and sundry, in our own way.
The indomitable spirit of women is also on the rise. Today women have a choice of being single or married. Many single women I know have adopted kids, and the more tolerant societies in Mumbai don’t even bat an eyelid.
I cannot say we are fearless, but the definition of fear has probably changed. We don’t seem to be scared to explore the unexplored. And with the world on our fingertips, the unexplored in not unreachable!

The many moods of the sky

2007-08-13T16:05:00.000+05:30

Rain rain... come again

2007-08-09T18:27:00.000+05:30

I have always loved the rains. Never mind the mess and the muck. If nature gifted us with rains, we have gifted ourselves the pains.
Inhabiting a more natural world (rather than a human one) the rains have never failed to fascinate me less. Even as a child, it charmed me...albiet I didn't have the liberty to get drenched as per my whims. The lush green nature, the sweeping breeze, the dark clouds and the raindrops falling on my head have always aroused a pleasantly nostalgic feeling. I have tried not to miss the first showers… ever.
Rains in Calcutta had a strange charm, especially the cyclones in the form of “Kalbaishaki.” Yes, they are wild, dangerous and untamed. And therefore intriguing. Nature warns you in the form of thunder & lighting about its rage and its intentions. Maybe you can pick up the cues and retreat to a shelter, if you cannot bear the fury. But for those who dare to face the fury…the experience is intensely wonderful.
Rains in Bombay are less spirited. Someone seems to have sucked the life out of them. Added to that is rain-phobia, thanks to 26/7. Though that was more of a man-made disaster than a natural calamity. However, I have grown to love the tame torrential showers as well. Tame beauty has its charm as well.
Rains remind me of poetry and melody. For the lack of anything else to do, I can cozy up with a novel or a collection of poems on a lazy afternoon. Or just keep staring at the sky. For those who love sky – gazing, the many moods of the sky is always charmingly enthralling!

Unfocussed & Confused...

2007-07-31T15:23:00.000+05:30

There is a part of me that wants to write, a part that wants to sing, a part that wants to dance, a part that wants to theorize, a part that wants to ponder, a part that wants to trek, a part that wants to laze, a part that loves the sun, a part that loves snow, a part that loves the rain, a part that hates the muck, a part that gives up too easily, part that is persistent, a part that revolts, a part that thinks it is compromising, a part that wonders at the night sky, a part that is benumbed by the day sky...to force myself to be one thing(focussed) would kill large parts of me.

- Inspired by Notes to Myself by Hugh Prather

What's in a name?

2007-07-30T18:59:00.000+05:30

Well, everything I suppose. When people call me, I prefer being addressed in a particular way. I have always liked my name, but Nilanjana, when shortened becomes "Nil". Never really liked that. Neelanjana is more appropriate...at least "Neel" is closer to part of the meaning of my name.
This is more in response to those who were very curious about the way my name is spelt in this blog!

Harry Potter & My World

2007-07-27T15:31:00.000+05:30

For all those who believe that magic exists...

I have always believed in magic. Maybe that is the reason why I found the Harry Potter series so fascinating. And like Harry we live in 2 different worlds all the time. One is the world of the Muggles, the mundane world that we are forced to inhabit. The world that tires and disillusions us. The commonplace world of the Dursleys, the world that is easy to get trapped in. And ennui sinks in!
The world of magic(Harry’s world) is definitely more interesting, intriguing and profound. It is definitely not paradise(overflowing with milk and honey), for it has it’s own pains & threats. It is the world of imagination, of creativity, of love and individualism. A world that has it’s own death-eaters, but a world unlimited in its prowess of the mind and the imagination. Voldemort exists, but a boy can put him back to his place. Harry is definitely not a lucky guy, like many of us, but his courage and his presence of mind helps him survive the magical world. And can we not identify with the same? We constantly flip from the world of the muggles to the world of magic, trying to fake one world and balance the other. With a little bit of courage and that touch of magic we can bounce back to our world – the world of magic!

To blog or not to blog...

2007-07-18T12:23:00.000+05:30

...is the question. Or rather has been the dilemma for a very long time now.
Much like Hamlet's ordeal of so-called inaction vs. so-called action.
Ponder-ing vs Act-ing.
Ruminating.
The everyday dilemma of lazing in bed vs going for a jog;
TV ennui vs the languor of picking up a book;
Whiling away time over the weekend vs going for a trek.

Hence it took a very long time to initiate this blog. Being a person of inaction rather than one of action(honest confession!!). Thanks to friends who inspired/insisted.

Keep the inspiration/insistence going...